Memories, thoughts, connection with the present, the inner workings of our brains... I had an interesting conversation with my brother tonight. He is back to close to normal after his battle with mental storms brought on (we believe) by his medications, but he is still battling occasional memory glitches. OK, OK, I know that's not a medically acceptable term, but it is descriptive, isn't it?
I suppose it's not often that you can talk with someone else who has experienced memory issues, and Neal has had a couple of distinct experiences. The first was his total confusion that we believe was caused by the cocktail of medications he was on. Those medications gradually robbed him of his mental accuity and placed him and his active imagination firmly in the past. Luckily that state is gone, and he has his mind back (for the most part, that is). There are still times of confusion, and occurrences of what I can only describe as disconnected time. He asked how I dealt with my own memory problems after my brain's relatively high-speed encounter with the pavement over two years ago. Looking back, I think that my own brain injury was much kinder than his state. I have no memory at all of the really bad times, and while I've been told that I wasn't functioning normally for a while (probably a number of weeks) from a mental point of view, my brain recovered what I believe is its normal function. I wish I could tell Neal that there were some tricks I learned to get through that time, but I have no memories of any.
Neal, my heart goes out to you as you continue to fight your battle. I think that my own memory lapses were much kinder than yours since they were really hidden from me, where yours are somehow making themselves known to you. Fight your battle, accept yourself as you are, and know that your friends and family are sending a lot of love your way.