Remember...

Death is forever, but my memories are forever too.

Today is my brother's birthday. While he was living, it was a day to chat and laugh with each other. Yes, over the phone - since we didn't live anywhere near each other.

Now, it's a day for memories. Memories, from when we were children a very long time ago, to the last time he was able to speak to me, and from the many years between those times...

My first couple of memories are courtesy of our mother, who told me these stories. When Neal & I were very young, we shared a bedroom. We must have been misbehaving one night when we were supposed to be sleeping; our door was closed, and the light was out. Neal got out of bed and opened the door to let some light in. My parents heard him say "Deese? is that OK Deese?". He was thinking of and doing things for other people, even as a very young child.

The next story I remember always brings a smile to my face. Neal wasn't satisfied with playing with toys. He had to experiment, to use playing as a learning experience. I wonder what he was thinking the day he hid Mom's keys. I suppose "hid" isn't quite the right word; he really created a puzzle that wasn't solved for a long time. Neal took the back off of a radio, placed the keys inside it, and replaced the back. The radio apparently no longer worked, and there was no sign of the keys either. Mom - how long did it take (weeks? months?) before you found those keys?

There were growing up years when we were together, and there were many years when geography intervened and we didn't see each other that often. But even not seeing each other, we did talk on the phone, and I always knew that Neal was there if I needed him. He was there if I just wanted to chat, to share, and he was there if I needed support too.

So many years, so many memories...

I think I will always remember the last thing that Neal said to me: "Don't worry, I'll be OK. I love you." Again, he was thinking of others and not of himself.

I'm holding on to my memories of Neal.

A part of him is in my heart and and in my mind. Forever...